mollycoddling

a word that a npr story reminded me that i loved. my friend, who is trying to do something valuable (not to mention, make enough money to pay the rent), is trying to get a research grant to work on resiliency training for combat veterans. in the article she sent me, the good doctor martin seligman name drops dr albert ellis, who founded rational emotive behavioral therapy, which is pretty much the only sort of therapy i could ever stand. i hate therapists, almost as much as i hate thinking about my emotions. MOLLYCODDLING NONSENSE! but, i think most soldiers would respond to that type of therapy better than others. what do you think?

Dr. SELIGMAN: The teaching of resilience comes out of the history of cognitive therapy of depression. So starting about 30 years ago, people like Aaron Beck and Albert Ellis began to look at the catastrophic thoughts that people said to themselves when they were in very adverse situations, and often those thoughts were unrealistic.

So if you're in Iraq, for example, and you call your wife at home - this seems to be our first war in which you can make cell phone calls home - and she doesn't answer, you might think the most catastrophic thing possible: She's walked out on me.

So one of the things you teach people to do is, well, just wait a minute. That's the most catastrophic possibility. Now, what's the best possible scenario? Well, it might be that she's just taken the kids out for a walk. Okay, now, what's the most likely scenario? Well, we did have a fight yesterday. So she may have gone off to see her mother, but things are going to be all right.

So resilience begins by teaching soldiers, just as we have taught thousands of people, to recognize the most catastrophic things they say to themselves when bad events occur and to dispute them, to find the realistic causes of the bad events.

back when i was a young'un, i would get weirdly paranoid about some things generally, and depressed about the lady situation specifically, and i would spiral down to bad places. after i had a huge wake up call with johnny law, i forced myself to deal with it according to my dad's advice, which was pretty much, 'you're fucking up. fix it.' i forced myself to challenge my anxieties and pretty soon, those anxieties went away. that little incident changed my life and is probably the most formative event in my life.

well, that, and having to work for my dad for a few summers. i didn't really appreciate my dad until i had to work for him, but i came to find out real quick how hard my dad worked to get by. i still miss physical labor, and i enjoy getting to do it when i can, but nowadays the closest i can get to reliving those memories is listening to some golden oldies, which my dad's partner would always listen to on the jobsite.

i've been reliving those days in my head quite a bit lately, thanks to an awesome site i found on the innerwebs a few weeks ago. it's called garage punk, you absolutely must listen to the new podcast from mr a the barber. listen to the show! and maybe i'll go see the barber soon. it's been almost 3 weeks. i think i can make it to a month before i have to buy a new hat.

so i haven't been able to keep a coherent series of thoughts together lately... especially on the phone (sorry mom and dad, i hate phones). so i'm gonna leave this right here. the best way to get through this is to just focus on the here and now. hopefully i'll know what's next in a few months. if not, whatever. all i want is a nice place to live where i can spend time with my dog and get ready for the next phase of my life. i think i may know what i want to do when i grow up. and that's a feeling i never had before. no anxiety. it's nice.

now if only i could figure out women....